By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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