Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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