Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
