He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
So here I am, sexting at work.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
