Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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