woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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