So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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