I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
