You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Dicks are not precious.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
