I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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