sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
