theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
