I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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