Only a mothe r could love this liver
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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