It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
