I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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