I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
