Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
