But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
