id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
