this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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