I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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