last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
