I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
