Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
My vagina is officially offended.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
