pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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