Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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