Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
