Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
