all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
