I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
