sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
