girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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