me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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