Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
