ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
