I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
