It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
