is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
