In the future we'll all be gay
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
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