I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
