Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
