Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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