Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
