If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
NoShamevember. You game?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
