so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
