so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
