I'm jealous of your bromance
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
