Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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