I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
