Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
